After the previous encounter I had with The Sonia on GTA IV, I decided to take a short break from the game for a while. I and my friends (Ryan, TJ, and Jake) decided to play some Minecraft: Xbox 360 Edition. “The Minecraft world on Xbox isn’t infinite, TJ. You’re too fat to join our game” said Jake in that relaxed and calmed voice of his. “Fuck you man, I’m not fat” Whined TJ once again, as he always does when he’s called fat.
“No, Todd. You are fat. Accept it and your life will be much easier” Added Ryan. As soon as I heard this, I asked “Who’s Todd?” stupidly, only to be told that TJ’s real name is Todd, and TJ is only a nickname that everyone calls him. Simple enough and sounds pretty legit. “Let’s go Todd. I made extra room on this world just for you” I said, laughing. “Don’t call me Todd, Shady. I HATE being called Todd…” said TJ, but in a much more serious tone. I replied “Fine, fine. Hurry up guys, I’m leaving spawn soon”.
Everyone joined the game. Ryan had the orange Castle Crasher skin applied, Jake had one on that I can’t quite remember, I had the Elf one on, and TJ had on the Castaway, and proudly called himself Jesus. “TJ, you’re an ass. Shady was the first one to wear the Castaway skin as Jesus” complained Ryan on my behalf. “Well I did it better!” whined TJ in his normal annoying voice.
I shrugged it off, as I didn’t really care much. The Elf was probably my favorite skin, since the Xbox version doesn’t allow you to make your own skins (Sadly). We all met in the world around an arctic tundra patch of trees. The world was on survival, and on hard (As usual; I think any other difficulty is for pansies). Jake and I began chopping down some trees with our hands, since us always actually ‘try’ when we play Minecraft. Ryan ran around, parkouring off of treetops and punching people in the back, and TJ just followed him, punching him as well.
After a few minutes of simple work, Jake and I had assembled a Crafting Table, some wooden axes and pickaxes, and two wooden swords for Ryan and TJ to beat the crap out of each other with. Within that allotted time, Ryan had killed TJ seven times, and was on the verge of landing the final blow for the eighth. “Stop killing me you dick wheel!” screamed TJ. “Hey, you punched me first. You opened war on yourself, son. War. On yourself” replied Ryan dramatically. TJ flailed around a bit, and I could hear him bitching in the background of his headset. “I lolled” I said, as Jake and I began building a small wooden shelter. Ryan rushed in and claimed the house as his own.
Jake and I cluster fucked him and banned him from the house. After that, he vowed to destroy the shelter and us. The next two Minecraft days (40 minutes) were just Jake and I defending our shelter, and Ryan trying to eliminate it and us. TJ followed Ryan along, trying to help him, but Ryan would just kill him for the fun of it. “What the fuck Ryan! I was helping you, you dick wheel!” screamed TJ, now hunting Ryan down. “I’m a lone wolf, a stallion in the forest of betrayal, a guy who likes to kill fat people” replied Ryan with a chuckle. “I’M NOT FAT!” bellowed TJ, in a rather deep and partially demonic voice. Just then, the text in the game said “sonnet has left the game” and “jake2the0snake4 has left the game”. Only TJ and I were left. “Well, looks like it’s just you and me, Todd. Promise not to eat me and I’ll find us some pork chops” I said, laughing a little. There was no response this time, and then the screen showed “sonnet has left your Xbox LIVE party” and “jake2the0snake4 has left your Xbox LIVE party”.
I shook a little, not liking to be left alone with any of these guys. Not after last time. All of a sudden, world holes began generating. This was odd, as usually you only see them disappear instead of generate. More and more world holes began generating, and even stranger, they weren’t lagging me. It seemed as if it was an actual intended act. With each chunk degenerating, a loud, distorted version of the explosion sound played. I sprinted away from the oncoming holes, and asked TJ if he was okay. In the text box of the game, it eerily said “Little Toddy has murdered TJ”.
This was especially strange, as even if there was another player in the game by the name of “Little Toddy” (Which there wasn’t; I pressed Back and the only people on the game were me and Sunday MASSACRE… until he died, of course). As I ran, the holes stopped appearing, and I breathed easy for a moment, although I wish I hadn’t. As if it were the PC version, fog suddenly overcame the terrain of the forest, as if it was on tiny render distance.
I trudged through the fog for a few minutes, picking up a bit of wood and some seeds, until I focused on an object in the distance. It resembled a Minecraft player in shape, but the exact skin wasn’t visible, due to the distance between it and me. It was hunched over, as if in the sneaking position, thus hiding its gamer tag (If it was in fact another player, even though no players were on the player list). I stared at the figure in the distance for a few moments, and it eventually stood in the upright position, showing its gamer tag above its head. The box around it was blood red, and the text within it read “Little Toddy”.
“TJ? Are you still there?” I opened my dashboard and looked in the party. Once again, I was alone. “Fuck, not again…” The figure in the distance drew a sword. This sword was not of ordinary color (Even from a distance, I couldn’t recognize the color). The sword itself was a sickly black color, with red along the blade’s edge. The distant figure slowly progressed through the dark fog that covered the map.
Frozen in a state of shock, I couldn’t help but to stare as it closed in on my position. Finally, when my senses regained, I turned around and began sprinting in the opposite direction of the oncoming force. I dodged tree after tree and pounced over small hills of dirt as I continued to run. My hunger bar was at a moderately high percentage (Eight and a half), so I felt that I would easily be able to outrun the pursuing creature.
I continued to ran, and all of a sudden, my hunger bar instantly dropped to zero. I always play on Hard, so I was now worried that I could possibly starve to death if I didn’t find a source of food, and fast. I continued forward, now walking, until I found myself in a completely flat area. It was as if it were super flat mode, except now, there was Bedrock particles coming from the ground, and the ground was made of Obsidian. Lava could be heard bubbling beneath the Obsidian floor, and this Obsidian wasteland stretched as far as my Xbox could render. Clearly, there would be no food out there, so I turned around to head back into the forest biome to find some animals, but as I turned around, the forest I had just came from had turned into another blank canvas of Obsidian. I was now completely stranded in a desolate world of Obsidian.
The normally campy and soothing music that played was replaced with what sounded like the music disk “ward”, except it was much slower, and just distorted all around. I tried to walk toward the sound, but it seemed to be coming from all directions, as if I were standing on top of the jukebox. As I walked around, the sound followed me. I was still starving, but somehow slower than normal, only losing a half a heart every minute or so.
I just walked forward, looking around and behind me as I continued on, until I found an item lying on the ground. The item appeared to be Rotten Flesh. I stepped over the floating object, and it was placed in my hand. I opened my inventory, and to my amazement and disgust, instead of it being labeled “Rotten Flesh”, it was labeled “Ryan”.
I pressed right trigger to learn more information about this item, and a text box appeared, saying “The remains of Ryan that Little Toddy left behind. Heals 4 hungers and can cause food poisoning”. I desperately didn’t want to eat this piece of food due to the possibility of it being the remains of my friend Ryan. I shook off this feeling as my standard realistic and pessimistic self-kicked in and scolded me to stop complaining and to eat the food before I starved to death. I ate the item, and the normal pixels that came off when you eat food were replaced with little splashes of blood. I went to third person and my Elf skin had small marks of blood around its rectangular mouth.
To my surprise, I didn’t get food poisoning. I thanked Ryan, but then shuddered at my own sick joke. In the distance, I could hear a voice yelling, as if in protest. Now with 4 hungers, I turned in the direction of the sounds and sprinted towards it while jumping, for some extra speed. The sound became more loud and clear as I progressed through the area, now sounding more like screaming than yelling.
I continued to run, but all of a sudden, a loud sound, as if something shredded through flesh blared from all directions, and the game went silent. I stood, listening closely for any nearby sounds. Sounding farther than the yelling and now behind me, I heard the sound that plays when a player eats, followed by the short burping sound, and then silence once again. I shook, and sprinted forward once again.
As I ran, I could see another figure in the distance. It was close to the ground, and rather short, so I had thought it to may have been a spider or possibly a pig. I continued forward, and the figure in the distance became clearer, and all my thoughts of it being a live creature faded away. It was a body; a body of a player. It was lying face down on the ground in a pool of its own blood. Several bloodied arrows protruded from its back, and it had several slashes along its body and on its clothes. I stood directly over it, and punched at it with my empty hand.
The body rolled over, and it showed that the abdominal area had been cut into, and the face was frozen in a state of not only fear, but betrayal. I punched it once again, and it disappeared, leaving behind another piece of Rotten Flesh. This one was named “Jake”. I dropped the item and shook my head, thinking that this couldn’t be real; that this couldn’t happen to me again. From behind, I could hear a grinding sound of metal, and I turned around to see that same shadowy figure from earlier, hunched over in the sneaking position. “Little Toddy?” I asked, partially afraid of even getting a reply.
It stood up, revealing its gamer tag and identity to indeed be Little Toddy. It slowly walked forward, dragging that accursed black sword along the Obsidian floor, making that earsplitting metallic screech again. I tried to run, but I couldn’t move my character. I was forced to watch as it closed in on me ever so slowly. I saw its face come into view. Its face was that of the Castaway, except the beard was tattered with blood. The last thing I heard over my headset was “I told you I’m not fat” before my Xbox, television, and my entire apartments power went out. After a few hours of sitting on my bed, petrified, in the dark, the power returned to me.
I turned my Xbox on, started a party, and invited everyone. I asked them what had happened earlier with the Minecraft server. Ryan and Jake replied with, in unison, “Server lost connection”. TJ didn’t reply. Suddenly, Ryan and Jake left the party, and in a deep and ominous tone, TJ said “Never call me fat again” before leaving as well. For a solid week, I refrained from making any fat jokes about TJ, and encouraged Jake and Ryan not to as well. Alas, this didn’t last long, and I have returned to calling him Toddy Boo-Boo once again. I fear Little Toddy will return some day, but if it costs me my life to call TJ fat, then so be it.