Hi, my name is Danny Birkowits. I am a HUGE Mario fan. I collect Mario stuff like you wouldn't believe! I was unbelieveably obcessed with Mario. And why wouldn't I? He was a childhood icon to me, and i own a lot of Mario games, except for the famed Mario 64, which was litterally Mario's first entry to 3D and among MANY of his finest hours...... However, when I tried to get the game, I ended up with some sort of evil doppleganger, cause before, I looked up what the game was about, and what I expearience, WAS nothing like this...
Now, everyone knows of the Eel from Jolly Roger Bay? That giant monstrosity that's not able to be killed because of the water environment, and even if it it were to be on land, which is unlikely, it wouldn't cause a mere touch on this thing can hurt you! (Or kill if your on your last bit of health) Well, there's something more evil then just being Nightmare Fuel like that damn Piano on the Boo House, there's something, evil.......
It all started when I ran into an old friend of mine. Marco Pickermits. He was, ALWAYS weird. He dissects Cockroaches, shaves cats naked, hell, he even gave the neighbor's pet Chihuahua to his grandfather's pet piranhas. He seems to have an extended collection of what he claims are "Haunted Video Games", but it's not like that Sonic.EXE crap. Oh no, he claims he has games haunted by the ghosts of characters Nintendo or other video game companies don't use anymore. Some Benvolent but tend to be a nuisance, like poltergeists pranks or making weird dreams, to bad ghosts that haunt your dreams into nightmares, or even.... claim your life. He never played the games that have been labeled "Bad Spirit imprisonment", only the "Good Spirit Homes", like the game with a humanoid star, Conker, Classic Sonic Games, including the one with Knuckles where he stars with the Chaotic Team, even the almost obscured Earl and Toejam, a game about two aliens that love rap and has the weirdest comset ever. However, i saw a Mario 64 game and i asked Marco if i can have it.... He said no. He showed me it had a black marker writing with the words "Bad Spirit imprisonment"on it. He told me the spirit in this game is malevolent, it did horrible things to him, he doesn't want it to return and not only kill him, but anyone stupid enough to free him by playing the game. He told me he plans to lock this game up in the basement as soon as possible, so the spirit can't see the light of day ever. He placed it inside a safe for the time being until my visit is offer, then he changed the subject by asking me if i wanted to play Halo 3 with him.
So after Halo, we both went our separate ways. I was staying over his house cause my parents went on a cruse without me, cause they were cheap fucks who didn't want to pay an extra dollar taking me along, so i am staying with Mr. And Ms. Pickermits. I like the Pickermits better then my own parents. They're generous, stern but fair, and strict when only necessary. They're a little upset with Marco for sometime cause the Neighbor who has her Chihuahua become fish food threaten to sue them, but thanks to having a relative who was a really good lawyer, Marco's uncle, they were lucky they won the case leaving the neighbor sad, depress, and heart broken that no justice was done today, and her chihuahua died in vain. But it wasn't completely a win for Marco, his parents were pissed at him. Marco seems to have some kind of mental illness, a dangerous one called Anti Social Disorder or something, and the doctors claim animal abuse is a sign of worse things to come.... That kinda concerns me, that he may become worse as time goes by. So far, he still acts normally or at least socially acceptable around humans as I am fairly aware of, though I'm afraid that people with ASD then to pretend like that to hide their true nature. I'm worried that Marco is on the verge of being someone I don't know about, what if he had to be taken away to some mental institution for the benefit of others, what if he starts hurting people, and me? So far, i think i am the only person he actually likes, i mean really truthfully likes, cause i understand he's not well, and accept him as a person, not a mental time bomb. That's rare for someone with ASD to actually care for real. In fact, it's almost science fiction.
Aw crap, I am off subject, back to the story.
So, i was trying to get to my bedroom for my night at the Pickermits, when i saw that very same safe, somehow, unlocked. Like, some kind of force, opened it. I am both curious and scared.... but that went away when i figured it has to be the work of Marco, who tends to be nothing but pranks. I never bought that spirit stuff. I knew this had to be ONE of his silly pranks. His pranks got him expelled once, but i digress. But, i wanted to be fair, so i went along. I went to the safe, and picked up the Mario 64 cartridge.... but, the marker mark change.
It said: "It's all yours now, Danny Boy. With love, Marco."
I was so excited. Marco RARELY gives me anything, let alone a game he said before was processed by a "bad" spirit. I took this advantage to find the N64 Marco had for his Birthday. Luckily, all his walls are sound proof, so i am not gonna get found out.
I installed the game, and turned on the console. But something, was weird.
Instead of the Logo, the menu, or even the Infamous Mario's CGI head the game had, i was at Peach's castle.
I was disheartened. It was a bootleg, or a rom hack I thought. I never figure Marco being capable of making rom hack games, but then again, he's proven to be a technological wiz. He once made a Dreamcast play PS3 games, and an XBOX 360 be able to hold NES games. So i wouldn't be too surprise he did something like did. I guess he edited out the logos, the menu and the Mario Head so he can get right into the game i assumed. Everything was pretty much the same, except when i turned Mario around, he looked sad. It's like, he's depressed. I bet Marco likes to edit his face for fun. I moved Mario torwards the castle, but then came the weird man in the clouds that normally throws spiked turtles at him. He looked scared. He said this to Mario with what sounds like the Koopa's yelp when you step it out of it's shell.
"NO! MARIO PLEASE! DON'T GO IN THERE?! IT'S CURSED! THE MONSTER! THE MONSTER?! IT..... IT...... JUST DON'T GO IN?! PLEASE?!"
But then, the poor cloud guy began to flicker like a glitch, then vanished.
I just assumed Marco messed with the program VERY badly that it effected some of the models.... I honestly hoped I would've been right.
I went inside the castle, and I was horrified with what i seen: Peach's Castle, the castle interior, looked more Bowser's Castle like, but even more adulterated scary cause of, blood. There was also a lot of pictures of a lot of the Mario characters that exist outside of this, like Waluigi being on a medeavil rank being whipped by Koopas with executioner masks, Wario being tortured by Goombas, Yoshi being made into a feast for Bowser to consumed by the Koopa Kids, being cut like a turkey by Bowser Jr, and now, Bowser marring Peach, who she looked horrible, her wedding dress shredded, eyes soaked of bloody tears, and her cheek looked burned, as if kissed by the fiery mouth of Bowser (kinda makes sense, he is practically a fiery turtle dragon) and the wedding was being preached by the turtle witch from Paper Mario. I walked up to a Toad, but he was, angry. When I went to talk to him, he said this.
"MARIO, YOU ITALIAN FAT IDIOT?! YOU LOST TO A GIANT, CREATURE, AND NOW BOWSER DESTROYED THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM?! YOU SHOULD'VE DEFEATED THE MONSTER FROM JOLLY ROGER BAY! WE ARE ALL DOOMED BECAUSE OF YOU?!"
Suddenly, toad exploded into blood and guts, his anger was too great that he killed himself by getting too mad.
I shrugged it off barely as it was the result of Marco's mental problems. Perhaps these disturbed hacks are mirrors to his madness, and on how he views the world, or even, a violent escape from the world that can't understand him. Like, he thinks the world hates him cause they never understand him, and it was not his fault a dangerous mental illness dominates his mentally, he couldn't help being born with it, it just isn't something a person can't help with, like the color of your skin or gender.
I decided I wanted to see the first LV, that cool bom-bob level, but instead, I got a horrible sight. Instead of marching Bom-Bobs, it was of Mario at the mercy of the Jolly Roger Bay Eel...... I am speechless.
The sight of it alone......
I am actselly at first impressed with how, surprisingly modern and updated it is sense it's on a N64 system, cause alot of images on the system normally tend to be, pixelly and pargonish. I became concern that Mario lost to this thing. I left the room, but then it changed from a Bowser's castle appearence to, what looked like, a cavern from the level Jolly Roger Bay. And the pictures of Mario Characters being harmed are replaced of many images of the beast itself, the Jolly Roger Bay Eel.... even on the rug where there is the sun, it is intead a close up to the eel itself. (the above image.)
It indeed looked VERY unlike the model in the game.... It's almost.... Nightmareish.
When i went to investigate the other levels, they just became part of the background. I expected the only level accessable, was Jolly Roger Bay. So, when i entered it, it's image was worse. it was like, a screen capture of the Eel trying to eat Mario, and a glitchy one i added.This was when i became concern. Did Marco make this thing, a game boss. If so, that would be a very impressive thing. This Eel from what i looked up has an imfamous reputation for being unbelieveably scary. However, i was forced to man up. I had to see this though. So, i jumped right into this, and as the usual level entry sound played, so was Mario's scream, as well as a more deeper, bowser laugh.
The star selection thing wasn't there, i was at the Jolly Roger Level. I began to move around for a bit as a dakrer verson of the water theme was playing. However, a roar that sounded like a Spinosaurus from the 3rd Jarassic Park movie played, as i saw something that horrorfived me.... The then went tremors me as i saw it's body swimming in the ground!And as it did, a more punk-rock verson of the Mario boss battle is heard! The beast rose up from the ground, and roared like a Spinosaurus. It began to shoot waves and waves of horned Goombas at me! Fortunatly, this was one of those rare Mario Games where he can punch, so they weren't a problem. However, my new promlem is this creature! It jumped up and tried to attack Mario, and i avoided just in time! The creature slithered back into the ground, but the music stilled played. Meaning it's still gonna get me, or try.
And i was right, cause 1 minute later, it popped out of the ground like it just escaped hell, and caused a huge waterfall to appear, flooding the level in water, except for the sunken ship that supposingly wasn't suppose to flout anymore, as i got Mario to swim as fast as he can to the ship, though that eel was Jaws fast! Thank god i got Mario on the ship before the creature could chomp on me! However, i have a new problem! This Eel has started to rip the ship apart every passing second! I got Mario to climb on the poll of the ship, and got on the crows nest, but suddenly, the camera moved to the Eel, as it leap at Mario, and chomping on him and the poll, as Bowser's laught sounded loud and demonic!
I was then shown to a cutscene.....
It was of Mario, screaming in the water, as the monster eel was going further down the deep sea, drowning and bleeding Mario at the same time. The water started to become red in red clouds, as Mario's screams eventally went silent as the creature vanished into the darkness of the deep..... But then, almost 5 minutes later, the creature came back quickly at rushed at the camera, chomping on it!
Then, the screen went to static.
I been assuring myself it was just a game, just a game....... But then, i heard the sink turning on. I desided to investigate, and all of the sudden, i saw what looked like the Jolly Roger Eel, tattooed to the cabnet.
It's offitcal..... I unleashed the evil spirit, i was stupid to fall for it's trick like that. This, monster wanted out and i letted him out. However, i was too later, as a huge wave bursted through the walls as water quickly flooded the house! I got upsteirs, but it quickly got flooded!
I got to Mr. and Ms. Pickermits' room, but i was horrorfived that they look as if they were ripped apart by a shark. I knew the monster Eel must've got them already. I went to Marco's room, but that's when i saw it..... The model of the Jolly Roger Eel, ripping Marco to pieces. I had sealed his fate, and his parents who have nothing to do with this monster. I tried to swim away and escaped, but then i was met by a silluette of closeing jaws, and before i knew it.....
the young man Danny Birkowits still believes that Marco and his parents were killed by a monster from a video game when he was hallusinating when playing a grim game hack of a Super Mario 64 game where Danny hacked the game to a morbid and grim setting. He went insane from the trumatic exspearience and had to be contain by Mr. and Ms. Pickermits when the screaming young 13 year old ran into Marco's room. Danny's parents were notifived of the expsearience and were heart-broken of their son's condition.
Marco Pickermits was arrested for voilating his parole by inatvertingly causing a child to go insane from a rom hack of a Mario 64 game centering on morbid settings based on a character that did not had a major role in it. Marco has been sentence to time in julinvale hall and eventally a periment stay in an asyilum. Parents of both families, desistated. Ninteno and other game companies comvintated and destroyed the rom hacks, fearing they may damage their respective reputations. They made no offitcal releasement on on the subject ever since.