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Rapping.exe

The year was 1995. When I was 4, my dad got me a PlayStation. I wasn't into video games, but I enjoyed playing it. I even remember starting it up for the first time and hearing those futuristic sounds.

It came with Parappa The Rapper. My dad told me it was a music game and I liked music so I was hoping I would love this game.

I did enjoy and find it challenging. I did complete it eventually. Over the years I got more game for it. I played my PlayStation even when I got a PlayStation 2 which I bought when Parappa 2 came out just to get a load of my childhood. I even played it when I got a PSP! PS3! PS Vita!

I've been playing games ever since. Parappa was what got me into it. It also got me to only have Sony made stuff. Sony TVs, Sony Monitors, everything Sony! But I still use Windows.

Today I still wait for there to be Parappa 3 or DJ PJ, but it hasn't come. Over the years I started making live streams and lets plays on  games. 

I had a PS1 emulator on my computer just for the let's plays.

I downloaded each game at a time. I was going to download a rom of Parappa The Rapper. I was going to show it on a live stream. I stumbled across a website on Google.

I clicked on it and it had a download link to a file called "Rapping.exe". I thought it was a good quality PS1 emulator and a Parappa rom put together in a .exe file. I downloaded it.

Surprisingly it loaded very quickly. I opened it up and loaded the game. I heard the two duck noises you hear when a cutscene loads. I wanted to skip it to see if there was any bugs or lag. But I couldn't skip.

It showed the lot watching the Jet Baby film. Nothing was different until they walk out. Parappa and Sunny were holding hands and when Katy says he's better than Superman, the camera zooms into Parappa's face.

"Katy, you need to get your brain checked. Jet Baby is a baby and SuperMan is a grown man." Parappa said.

"Well no need to be rude!" replied Katy.

They enter the fast food restaurant to order their food. Everyone had their normal orders except Parappa.

"I want everything!" Parappa said in a cocky voice.

The woman looked down at him and snorted. She put a sign saying 'no food left' at the desk and Parappa at the table eating loads of things.

"Can I have a bit?" Asked PJ.

"No way! You have your own food!".

I did think the changes were a little funny. This was probably a parody game. I couldn't wait to see what's next. 

After the normal title screen, I was going on to stage 1 and the cutscene. The one where the bullies come in and try and get Sunny Funny to go out with them.

"Scram!".

"Yeah!".

"Well well what do we have here? Plenty of munchies for everyone, huh? Why not you leave these fools to eat while-".

"Sorry to interrupt, but she's my girl and you two have nothing better to do! Why not you two go back to bed, babies!" Parappa snapped at them.

"Hmph! Be like that then!". The two walk out of the restaurant. 

Up to this point, the game acts like normal, until the cutscene before stage 4.

After Parappa buys the cake, Joe Chin and Parappa. 

"Hi Parappa!" Joe Chin greeted.

'This faggot again? I wish he could just hang himself.' Parappa thought to himself.

"Uhhhh... Hi?" Parappa said back.

I was surprised that language like that would be used. But I continued playing on.

When Joe Chin was describing his cake, Parappa had a naughty plan.

"Don't mind if I taste your cake, do you?" Parappa asked as he pushed his thumb into the cake hard towards Joe.

"Woah! Careful now Parappa.... Ahhhhhhh!!". Joe Chin had a huge cake squash him. Parappa decided that he could make a better cake. He smacked his cake into Joe's face and went over to Cheap Cheap's place.

I couldn't stop laughing. I laughed so hard a choked a bit of blood. That made me stop laughing. It was a little disturbing too.

In the cutscene before stage 5, when Parappa and Sunny were at the sun set and Parappa was needing the toilet, it was different.

'OH SHIT FUCK TIT NUGGET BITCHES I NEED THE FUCKING TOILET.' Parappa thought to himself.

It was different again when Parappa was going to the toilet. When the lot said, "Let's rap for it!", Parappa got a pen knife and said, "How about no?".

Parappa stabbed each master. As each got stabbed, the border outside would go red and pictures of skulls would show. I thought this becoming more scary than funny. 

After stage 6 having no master in the background, it showed a cutscene of them walking to the cinema. However, Katy was looking at Parappa angrily.

"What's wrong with you?" Parappa asked.

"What's wrong with YOU, Parappa! That's what I should ask! I saw what you've been doing all week! You've been using curse words and being a huge bully! What's wrong with you?" Katy ranted.

"Did you do this Parappa?" PJ and Sunny Asked.

"Uhhhh.... I don't know what she's talking about. She must have mistaken me for someone else." Parappa nervously said.

Katy threw a video camera at Parappa's head. It had videos of Parappa doing bad things. Things he didn't do in the cutscenes. Sunny and PJ looked at Parappa.

"Parappa, if I were an officer I would arrest you! You should know better! I thought you were nice!" Katy snapped.

"What do you have to say for yourself, Parappa?" Sunny Funny said.

Parappa looked up at Katy. The border was the same as the ones showed when Parappa stabbed the masters. Everything disappeared except Parappa and Katy.

"Parappa? What's happening?" Katy whimpered. 

Parappa transformed into a huge demon. Instead of making the duck noises, it made shrieks of terror. So loud it made me fall off my chair.

Apparently I had to rap as Katy against a demon in complete darkness. There was no music.

The demon was singing in some satanic language that I wasn't able to understand. However, Katy was singing it. She was mispronouncing the words.

I got 666 points for that part. He said more. However, I got -666 points and went straight to awful. 

The demon had a scream so loud, my ears burst and I had to imagine what they were saying.

The demon looked at Katy. Suddenly, Katy fell into 666 bits and there was blood and cut up guts all over the floor.

The application closed itself. I was scared shitless. I grabbed the laptop, put it in my safe, and made sure it stayed there.

The next day, I opened up the door to get my PlayStation magazine. I suddenly noticed a whole load of dead cats in my pavement. It was making the while street stink. Watching bugs eat the bodies almost made me puke.

Suddenly, I noticed a yellow Labrador retreiver on the street. It had an orange beanie hat and it had red satanic eyes. I blinked and it was normal. The dead cats turned into sleeping cats. I never want to see Parappa again.

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